I am now at a total of 17,493 words. I should be at 25,000. This weekend will involve me doing a lot of typing, I think.
It was going to be a long week, Stu thought.
It was his first day at his gig at the department store as their Santa for the evening shift. Already he'd been peed on, puked at, and kicked in the shins. Not to mention he'd lost feeling in his lower legs after having been sat on by a couple of very giddy and drunk moms.
Stu headed to the washroom on his break, staggering slightly as his legs refused to carry his full weight. He was stopped three times by kids wanting to know if he was real, if they could hug him, if they could have their picture taken for free... Stu sighed and staggered faster into the privacy of the washroom.
A guy at the urinal, not looking too steady himself, let out an expletive laced string of gibberish that was apparently meant to be a joke about Santa, a reindeer, and a bell.
It seemed inevitable that if you were dressed as a public figure, you had to put up with this kind of behaviour from kids and adults alike. Stu did his business, and got out again as fast as he could.
Walking back to the Santa's Village Photography and Calendar Studio, Stu reflected on his choice of seasonal employment. He usually took a second job at this time of year to help buy gifts for his many nieces and nephews, but what had possessed him to be a store Santa was beyond him. Next year he'd go back to snow shovelling or gift wrapping. In a pinch he might even consider retail.
A man walked past, his long dark trenchcoat wrapped around something large and bulky. Stu noticed the shuffling gait that indicated something heavy being carried. The man's eyes were darting this way and that, scanning his surroundings like he expected something to jump out of the shadows and take whatever it was that he was hiding so carefully. Stu thought it was unusual, but decided it was probably some guy buying a gift for a wife or girlfriend who was shopping in the mall as well. It didn't look like he was doing anything other than walking, which wasn't, last time Stu checked, an arrestable offence.
Plus the Santa suit was starting to get really warm. He wanted to get back to his air conditioned grotto before he keeled over from heat exhaustion.
A giant elf was standing in front of the ice castle. it wasn't often that you saw an elf who was six foot five with a blad head and a muscular physique. The department store had decided that working the security guard into the motif would have a reassuring effect on the parents who dragged their screaming bratlings over to have their photos taken. Stu felt nothingbut intimidated, which was a pretty rare occurrance for him. He couldn't imagine how the wee tykes managed to get past without pissing htemselves.
Stu caught a whiff of himself as he nodded and walked past Gary.
Oh, wait. That's right.
He climbed into his seat of honour, and waited for the next child to appear.
It was a young baby, barely big enough to hold it's head up. It was dressed in an appalling shade of yellow that made it look jaundiced, and also hid its gender very well.
"Well!" Stu forced himself to work the script. "Aren't you just the cutest little..." he paused, unsure if he should risk saying girl or boy, especially with the rather large and frowning mother standing right next to him.
"Baby," he finally managed to say.
The mother beamed, as if this was the greatest compliemnt she'd ever heard.
Stu bounced the baby a little, getting a bit of a giggle and a smile. "And what's your name?" he cooed, hoping the jaundice was just an illusion, and the poor child wasn't really that ill over the holidays.
"Jody," the mother said, still beaming.
Right, that didn't help a bit, did it? Stu smiled some more, held the baby so its face was somewhat aimed at the camera, and held the pose as the camera whirred busily in front of him.
The mother took the child, and headed to the co mputer to check what photos could be bought of it.
A scream sounded from nearby. Stu jumped up, and ran over to Gary. Gary's walkie talkie was going crazy, with people talking over other people, and lots of activity in the background.
A pack of shoppers, clutching their purchases like they were life rafts, ran past them, accompanied by more screaming.
Gary had the walkie talkie up to his hear, letting it deafen him as he tried to make out what was being said. "Some guy is over at the other big store, saying something about a bomb!"
That was all Stu needed right now. A bomb threat.
His cell phone rang in his Santa jacket pocket. He pulled it out and walked back into the grotto, one hand trying to block out the noise from the escaping masses.
"Stu?" The man on the other end of the phone was calm, and relatively collected sounding. "We need you to..."
Stu was already taking off his hat and beard. "Yeah, I got it. I'm already here. I'm just... slightly out of uniform."
There was a chuckle at the other end of the line. "Well, we didn't really expect this right now. But I'm sure that they'll be glad to see you no matter what you're wearing."
Stu was already heading towards the other department store.
In front of their grotto, once Stu got there, was the shifty looking guy he'd seen earlier. He had his trench coat peeled back to reveal a bomb vest strapped around his torso. Stu sighed, and trie dto look as dignified as he could in half a Santa costume.
"Hi? My name is Stu, I'm with the police bomb squad."
Shifty guy didn't look completely convinced.
"Yeah, this is my seasonal job," Stu said, amiling as lightly as he could under the circumstances. "I don't usually get a lot of shifts this time of year, so I do this to pay for the presents. If you'll let me just reach into my pocket here I can show you my badge. No, no, I'm not armed!" Shifty guy had reached towards what looked like a switch on one side of the vest. "Seriously, I'm as off duty as you can get right now. I'm not going to have a gun around little kids."
Shjifty guy still looked unimpressed, but he nodded. "Slowly," he ordered, and Stu was more than happy to oblige. He pulled out his badge and showed it, carefully, to shifty guy.
"Now," Stu said, slowly pocketing the badge again. "What's your name?"
Shifty guy looked at Stu suspiciously.
Shaking his head a little and smiling, Stu said, "I can make a name up for you if you'd like. But really, this will go a lot easier if I can call you by your name."
Shifty guy fingered the edge of his vest nervously. Stu held his breath.
"Morris," finally was said, quietly. "My name is Morris."
Stu relaxed a little. Morris was willing to share a name, so he was willing to make some sort of connection. This might end a lot better than it looked at first.
"Please to meet you, Morris. My name is Stuart Langeville. I'd like to talk to you some more if that's ok with you?"
Morris nodded a little, looking around for soemthing that he expected to jump him. Stuart knew the look well. Morris felt he was cornered, and this was his way of dealing with it. They just had to find a way for this to end with no one getting blown to bits.
"What's on your mind, Morris?" Stu was starting to sweat from the velour costume, and was glad that at least he'd thought to shed the hat and beard. Santa dressed well fro the North Pole, but it wasn't great gear for standing stressed in an overheated mall.
There was more fidgetting, and more suspicious glances. "I hate Christmas."
It was so soft that Stu thought he was hearing things at first. He nodded, using hte sleeve of his suit to wipe the sweat off his rather damp forehead.
"Tell me about it," he said. There was another distrustful look from Morris. "No, seriously, I only do this to make some pocket money. I have eight neices and nephews. Eight! At this time of year, you think a cop's salary can buy enough gifts for that many kids?"
Morris hunched over a little more. "I ain't got kids," he said, wiping his nose on his sleeve. "I ain't got nothing. And that's worse at Christmas."
Stu did his best to put on a neutral, sympathetic face. "Yes, you're right. That is." Anything Morris wanted him to agree to, as long as that vest would come off in one piece.
It was enough of a connection that Morris started to go to town, He stood up a bit straighter, and leaned towards Stu. "Do you know what it's like to be on your own and see all this shit?" Morris waved one arm crazily in the air. He came dangerously close to that switch, and Stu worked hard to cover the wince he felt deep inside. "Why does this got to happen? WHy doesn't anyone think that this might be a bad thing for some people to see?"
Morris deflated a little. Stu took a small step forward. "You're right. It's a lot to deal with, I can see that." Another little half step. "But there's a lot of people here who feel the same way you do.
"Ha!" Morris was shaking his head. "Working here? People care about something other than money? Look at you! You're doing it for money."
Stu thought fast. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. It was getting so warm, and Stu was having a hard time thinking. but he couldn't screw this up, not if he really wanted to see those kids open the gifts he'd already bought them.
"I'm doing it to make the kids happy," Stu said, talking fast. "If it wasn't for them I'd be at home right now, relaxing. But I really like seeing them smiling on Christmas morning. It makes all this worth it."
"I got nothing," Morris said again.
"I don't know what to say," Stu said honestly. "I feel bad for your situation, I really do. But I don't think this is the way to solve it. Can't we find a way that will get both of us out of here? We can find a way to work on everything else afterwards."
Morris looked at him, a little suspiciously again, but mostly he looked like he was thinking. Stu smiled a small reassuring smile.
There was a long pause, and then Morris looked down at his chest. His eyes widened as if he was seeing the vest for the first time. Slowly, he started to slip it off his shoulders.
Stu waited, not moving a muscle.
Morris set the vest down carefully on the ground. "There," he said. You take it and do what you need to do with it. I'll do this your way. Can't have those kids disappointed at Christmas."
Stu exhaled, not realising he'd been holding his breath again. He nodded, turning his head slightly to see Gary step out from the storefront next door.
"You go with my friend here," Stu gestured to Gary. "He's a good guy. He'll take care of you until other officers can get here.
Morris nodded dejectedly, and stepped away from the vest. Stu moved over to it, took a quick look, and was beyond relieved to realise it wasn't a proper bomb. It was a vest with a lot of wires and various items strapped onto it, but nothing else.
Stu took the time to take the Santa jacket off. It reeked of perspiration and fear and vomit.
Maybe it was time to find another way to pay for the gifts. Mall Santa was way too much excitement for Stu to deal with at the holidays.
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